"Those who can, do. Those who can't, bully"

November 14 - 20 is National Bullying Awareness Week in Canada - but we should be aware of this at ALL times to prevent it. When we are teaching children, we often focus on the prevention of bullying - both physical and (more damaging) psychological - but this applies to adults as well. Physical bullying is obvious - shoving, hitting, tripping - all too common in many places. Psychological bullying has a more lasting effect - name calling, picking on someone because of their culture/clothing/choice of companions, the dreaded "pinchy face" that girls will make when they disapprove of someone's "taste"...the list goes on - and every adult has a story of someone who did that as children (and can probably tell you their name and what they looked like). All bullying may lead to a physical assault unless it is stopped. According to the National Association of School Psychologists, bullying is the most common form of violence in our society. In a national survey of students in grades six through ten in 2001, 13% reported bullying others, 11% reported being a victim of bullies, and another 6% said that they both bullied others and were bullied themselves. These numbers mean that over five million children are affected by bullying. The numbers are higher now.  If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality. (Archbishop Desmond Tutu) Here are some resources that should prove useful for everyone - remember this is not a only problem for children, that's just where it starts - and where we need to stop it. Please note: Even though we have screened these sites, we are not responsible for their content. Bullying Awareness Network: The BAN website is an initiative of Child & Youth Friendly Ottawa and the Ottawa Anti-Bullying Coalition. Our purpose is to provide information to help people better understand bullying behaviour, the consequences, and how it might be prevented. Promote a collaborative and integrated approach. Serve as a communications vehicle for the members of the Ottawa Anti-Bullying Coalition. Promote longitudinal and results based research and effective clinical tools and protocols for the identification and treatment of children and youth at risk. Encourage greater youth participation. Seek a common definition, language and approach to dealing with bullying behaviour. This site was built by youth. It is also maintained by youth.  http://www.bullyingawarenessnetwork.ca   No Bully For Me:  No Bully For Me was founded in early 2003 by two targets of workplace bullying who made contact through a discussion forum. Their mandate is "adding insight to injury"; making a contribution to the activism and empowerment of the targets of workplace bullying, providing support, resources and information. http://www.nobullyforme.ca   CBBC Special: "Don't show you're angry or upset. If you don't care, the bully can't get to you." http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/specials/bullying/   Bullies To Buddies: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Remember that little ditty? Izzy Kalman (school psychologist and psychotherapist) argues that common approaches to verbal bullying ("find a teacher or adult") are hampering kids abilities to learn to handle their own social situations, and reminds us that words only hurt us if we allow them to. In addition to the illustrated website, Kalman offers free guides for adults and kids in PDF. http://www.bullies2buddies.com/home.html   Bullying.org: "Bullying stops in less than 10 seconds, most of the time when peers intervene on behalf of the victim. Intervene does NOT mean taking on or trying to confront or fight the bully, but rather, befriending the victim, ignoring the bully, talking and walking away with the victim." This Canadian site urges kids to take a pledge to stick up for those being bullied, and supports their Peer Support Approach to Bullying with extensive FAQ's and downloadable PDFs. http://www.bullying.org/public/frameset.cfm   Bullyonline.org: Half the population are bullied by a serial bully...most only recognize it when they read this  http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm Curtis Sliwa (Founder, Alliance of Guardian Angels) addresses the problem of bullies Video Be safe...listen when someone tells you they've been bullied or assaulted...and report all assault. If you see someone in trouble, help out - not necessarily by getting in the middle of it, but call for help, dial 911 if necessary - don't stand and watch like so many people do.